"I've heard I have nice teeth."

-Carrot Top.




I know this is supposed to be a forum for quick insults and jovial trickery, but I would like to air a very real concern: Tyra Banks is defiling America! Look at this picture of Danielle, one of the current contestants on -- one of my favorites -- America's Next Top Model:

Girl looks slammin. And, it should be noted, she is krumping [sic] with clowns (so, technically, it should be "clowning." Thank you, David LaChapelle.) and modelling for Payless. Payless! Have you ever been in a Payless? It takes a lot of panache to gyrate with thrusting clowns in $8.99 heels and still look hot. And yet, Tyra almost kicked her off because she hesitated from getting cosmetic surgery to close the gap in her teeth. She said Danielle could not be a Cover Girl model with a gap in her teeth and that other girls will walk through that gap into jobs that she might have otherwise secured. The same was true for ol' snaggle-toothed Joanie. Joanie went first, got four teeth removed, and had a full set of veneers put in. Brutal.
Danielle eventually acquiessed, and yesterday she went through the surgery and had an awesome shoot as a captured, dangling mermaid over the canals of Bangkok. Gah, I love this show.
Basically, I just don't understand how a woman who puts forth photos like this can really dictate what kind of spokesperson America needs...but I will continue to encourage and support any and all ventures she ever makes into anything ever.

fierce.