Schaudenfraude

IT WAS WORSE THAN I COULD HAVE EVER DREAMED! A fait accomplit of seismic proportions. Ron Howard and Akiva Goldsman have revealed themselves as the true earthly representations of Thanatos.

For not only did they manage to make a movie shittier than that loathsome book itself, but they dragged everybody and everything involved down with them.

Nobody is spared.

They made Tom Hanks look bad. They made Ian McKellen look bad. They made Audrey Tautou look bad (parole il n'est pas aussi!). They somehow made Jean Reno suck!

Worse: Ron Howard made the Louvre look bad. Hell, he made Paris look bad.

Not even Jesus or God walked away from this film unscathed.

I laughed the entire way through.