B'SCUSE ME?

S.T.F.U.B.I.D.C.A.Y.L.

It's Like All Chain and No Ball

31 July 2006

Retaliation

Holy shit. This article got real awesome, real fast.

New York Observer sold to student

"His father, Charles Kushner, a philanthropist and Democratic fundraiser, was sentenced in March 2005 to two years in prison for assisting in the filing of false tax returns, making false statements to the Federal Election Commission, and retaliating against a witness in the case — his sister.

He hired a prostitute to seduce his brother-in-law, made a videotape of the encounter and then sent it to his sister, the man's wife, in retaliation for her cooperation with federal authorities who were looking into his business activities."

28 July 2006

BEWARE: RUSSIAN CITIES ARE A BITCH

To keep you occupied during those lonely Mirsky-less nights.

Just got 5915. Care to duel? Although I am using a track pad :(

Abandoned Ship Bells

If Dara "Buzzkill" Weinberg wasn't bad enough, this trailer has put a damper on my infatuation with all things Bell.

19 July 2006

HIPSTERS (MIRSKY)! EXPLAIN THIS:

del.icio.us

18 July 2006

weekend fun!

I'm not saying we have to do this, but it might be for everyone's betterment if we did...

WHIP IT GOOD!

When something's going wrong
You must whip it

I FOUND THIS TODAY

and it made me happy. POST MORE HAPPINESS NOW! (click for better viewing pleasure)

I AM SO PATHETIC

TODAY TITANIC WAS ON AND FOR A SECOND I ALMOST GOT WEEPIE EYED.

WHY???????

"I ALWAYS WIN JACK"

DARA AND MIRSKY ADMIT IT: YOU LOVE THIS "MOVIE"

17 July 2006

And if that doesn't work....


Something along these lines usually does it for me.

I found this on my desktop and have no idea where it came from.

I trust it will make you happy.

MISSION OBJECTIVE

Since Logan is suffering from heartache, can we post things that will make him happy?

13 July 2006

I found this in my e-mail storage

First Semester Nic 5 Quote Board: Exact Reproduction!

1. It’s 4 o-clock….. FUCK!!
2. I’m a hot boiling pot of coffee that’s going to keep you up all night.
3. I am an innocent international student.
4. My blinds suck ass! S. Colao → suck ass blinds call x3400
5. Logan do you want to come and refill the ice with me?
6. Watch out your gonna poke somebody’s balls out… I mean eye… Ah!
7. It’s so long and smooth against my skin.
8. He is an assh*le so I’m glad that he is blessed with a limp dick. S. Colao
9. I’m dirty, dirty… I’m a dirty pony… RIDE ME, RIDE ME!
10. That is awful!
11. What the hell is a tenor?
12. I’ll see you soon baby, in that love bed of ours.
13. Coffee is by no means a code word for crackwhore in a can.
14. My room is not a dollar store bitch
15. I like little boys, bitch! Julius (5.5)
16. Ooh that flannel feels sooooo good!
17. Your innocence has been revoked!
18. Awwww…. Muffin. Andrea
19. I hit my pu-tang with the bouncy ball. Esther
20. I ain’t takin’ NO MO SHIT! C. Ellis
21. Selective fasting. Jason after eating MO SHIT
22. SBJ – Sho must be SBJed!!!
23. Sagittarius sex!! Stagarrtorus rex!
24. Can I pop you? Addressed to Zil & Lynni’s bubble wrap
25. Okay, now climb on top of me…
26. Esther: Do you want to go to bed? Ben: More than anything! (Esther’s Ben)
27. Take off your shirt… you have a really nice smile.
28. I am as smooth as sandpaper. Ed
29. Sho: I can’t say it because of my Asian values. Colin: Your Asian values are written on the wall.
30. Dynamo!? (Ultra Power) Isn’t that Ben’s Nickname? (Esther’s Ben)
31. Who’s blowing that crap?
32. So how old are you? 18? 18 is good, 18 is legal.
33. How did you sleep? Not good, I’m aching all over there is no one to cuddle with, there are so many rough spots on my bed…
34. Josh Daniels doesn’t have nipples… or dimples.
35. You were all over that like Sho on a resident! Ben
36. Sho what do you do when you’re horny? Go to bed early.
37. Sho, go to bed early!
38. Dude, you got a chick bike! Matt Cozin
39. What are you up to today Colin? Guess what?! Today’s my first period,
40. Don’t do anything my grandmother wouldn’t do.
41. What is a paradox? Oxymoron? Jumbo shrimp. Discerning slut. Intellectual male.
42. I am a dirty girl so I will wash my hands for you. You never know what can happen when I walk from here to there.
43. Get off or fall off!
44. … So you know Sho?!
45. Heat seeking moisture missile. Ben
46. Now, if I were sexually harassing you, you wouldn’t really know, would you?
47. You never know… you’ll have personal experiences you’ll never forget!
48. Do you have pecs as huge as watermelons?
49. Is it physically possible to blow…
50. Sho me the punani…
51. Can I squeeze your nibblets? Julius
52. I’m a breast stroker.
53. Keep on stroking and it will come. Some school in VA
54. She hated me because I gargled Listerine. She wouldn’t even look at me in the eye, she just ran whenever she saw me.
55. You guys both owe me nipples! Jeremy
56. I feel so dirty…! I’ve been eating dog for a month. Becky
57. No… no you don’t understand.
58. She can lie in my bed and stroke it! Evan
59. I need a needle now bitch.
60. I’m working on my girlfriend. Daniel
61. Everyone gets up before you do Sho! Ben
62. What, you’ve never seen a sketchball eat brunch before?
63. Joey, come on my fork.
64. I’m a bitch in disguise.
65. Colin: People can’t pronounce ‘ethlees’ it’s too big for them to handle. Sho: No, you are just a mouthful! Dirty, dirty Tuesdays!
66. And for our entrée, “Sho” and macaroni. But beware, he is very hot. You can put him anywhere but you might get burned.
67. Have you gymnast friend stay with me for one night. I’ll have him doing things he’s never imagined.
68. I almost believed what I was doing was real! S. Colao. You did Isreal?!?! Sho. No bitch, what I did is real!
69. Colin: We need a good quote for number 69! Sho: Oh, it’s coming.
70. What’s the new word for “please” these days?… Oh, is that it?… Oh, how I tickle myself at times!!
71. You carve the big piece of man – meat at Thanksgiving.
72. I don’t have a pick up line. (D. Torres) What? So you are telling me that bitches just come up and wrap their legs around your face?
73. Hey baby, do you have room in your fridge, cause I’d like to put some milk in there.
74. Make love, not peace.
75. Stop playing with my ass Jeremy. Chapin
76. Would you like me to make a list of all the things that you can do to my body? Chapin to Zil.
77. I’m going to read! Yeah right! Oh right, we are going to make sweet passionate sex on the 50 yard line. Jimmy,
78. If I am 20 years younger I could be his next child. Who knows, maybe I’ll be bad and he could spank me. Alyssa.
79. Chode(n) when the width of a given cylinder is longer than it’s length. Matt Cozin. Sentence: Dude! Check out my chode!
80. I just want to be stroked. Chapin
81. Are you mouthing my joystick?
82. What can I do to satisfy you?
83. Come in. Come in to my room. I’ll hold you. Sho to Andrea about spoons.
84. Ok someone needs to get on their knees now BITCH!
85. Sho, can we send you back? What’s your country’s return policy? Ben
86. I will strip you down and wet all your body hairs, bitch!
87. I want to plunder you sexually.
88. Id you can’t be good at least be good at it.
89. I am the pommel horse. Ride Me. Get on!
90. I am an egg lying on the floor, I was squished by a cucumber. Drunk Taka
91. I fill the gender gap. Sho
92. I have a poon… P.S. It sucks. Andrea.
93. ftp.bitcon.no
94. I’m glad the vacation is coming – Daniel. What are you talking about? You are already at Club WES – Daniel’s Dad
95. Would you like to see a dog lick cheddar cheese off my crotch?
Sho’s just ashamed

THIS, HOWEVER, IS NOT

THIS IS A METAPHOR

12 July 2006

The Orca Fat Gray Lady

WHY is this still occuring???




That story was written weeks ago and it is still on the most e-mailed list? It's like the Times has just turned into a terrible chain letter.

11 July 2006

Keight Flashback

For those of you that aren't Dara, Keight was our friend in high school who was...well, kind of awesome to me, sort of mean to others, and then completely insane in college. But during a brief truce in college, we laughed about this and it was on The Onion's front page today.

Ummm, this is kind of f-ed.

So I don't know if y'all have been following the upper east side exploding building story, but it's pretty ridiculous. Apparently, the explosion was a suicide attempt to keep his ex-wife from collecting the money from the forced sale of the house. Also, he seems like a huge twat.

Being just a few blocks from the explosion, I can attest to the fact that it took all day to get things moving agian in the area. This is not only terrifying because it's one man's selfish actions (if it was a suicide attempt, why did he call 911 for help? I mean, I know why...but why?), but because it was only one four-story building that was damaged. Let's hope something bigger doesn't stampede into town.

BREAKING: Wesleyan Cardinal at Jeopardy!


Does this mean that the fierce cardinal is no longer the beloved and obsolete mascot for (most of) our alma mater? They couldn't have broken the news in a more gentle way? Bennet's got some serious open-communication-dialogue-anti-commodification-non-objectifying 'splaining to do.

10 July 2006

Breaking: Brooklyn Safer than Midtown

This happened a few blocks from my office and the whole area has been crazy all day. Good thing I'm getting out before this entire overpriced powder keg goes.

The Wedding Party




Honestly, I have never seen as many people at the PNC Arts Center in Holmdel, NJ as I saw last night. And I saw Journey twice. Maybe it's because so many of the people were so little (ie, twelve) they could pack more bodies in. But let me tell you, when Kelly said jump the ground shook with heavenly delight. Also, I had to buy my own shirt because I could tell Jeremy would go into withdrawl if I tried to take mine back. It was a gorgeous day for a shit show.

LOGAN BEWARE!!!

He looks like a hipster but teats me with respect. Don't date him, girl!!

Zizou is my hero!

http://zidanesavesmaterazzi.ytmnd.com/

PAUL HAGGIS = ENTOURAGE OVER THE HILL?

Presenting Mrs. Jeremy Clarkson

06 July 2006

Sex Advice from... Poker Players

I never want to hear Daniel Negreanu talk about orgasms again.

KEKEKEKEKE

05 July 2006

I Know What You Did Last Summer

I am watching E!'s Sexiest Blondes and inbetween the decomposing skeleton of Janice Dickinson and a drunk Jerry O'Connell, they keep cutting to Kim Stolz for little sound bites.

Most sucessful Wesleyan alumnus ever?

LOGAN MEET YOUR NEW TOP 8

http://www.slate.com/features/myspace/

OH MA GAH!!!

COUNTDOWN TO KELLY!!!!!!!!!!!

f4internet nerds

Ok y'all. So John Singleton was filming a movie at the hotel I was staying at in Puerto Rico (The Water Club) starring our favorite triangular hunk Ving Rhames. After spotting him lifting several tons in the gym, I managed to wrangle a little extra gig for the afternoon (resulting in previous post). But they wouldn't tell us the name of the movie. But why? Who knows. And I can't figure it out through IMDB. Can anyone help me please?!

PR 1, SJM 0

JACKIE CHAN VS. JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMAGE?

SIGN ME UP!

04 July 2006

Screw the World Cup


Give me the World Pyro Olympics!

03 July 2006

In Space, No One Can Hear You Not Scream


The first orbital honeymoon: the next step in space tourism?